REVIEW: Bleep Quest - Play on Stage

Bleep Quest by Play on Stage

Playwright: Nicky Peelgrane

Director: Virag Dombay

Animation Design: Laura Cadart

Costume Design: Lottie Banford

Movement Director: Jack Barrett

Lighting Design: Benjamin Moore

Cast:

Sascha Holt

Lilica Howard

Lyra McCrossin

Leo Teh

“I bleeping know that you cow!”

I laughed. Immediately. And so did the other adults around me.

That’s the genius of Bleep Quest. Play on Stage have taken something children find wildly fascinating (swearing) and turned it into a clever, funny exploration of language, all without using a single real swear word!

The premise is simple and relatable for kids: Kate is being bullied at school. Billy is loud, threatening, and armed with aggressive language. Kate wishes she were her favourite pro-wrestler so she could simply body-slam him into next week… but instead, she asks a much better question: how can I stand up for myself without swearing back?

This 45-minute production is tightly paced and packed with ideas. Under Virag Dombay’s direction, the show is a playground of theatrical devices: dance, games, sport, rapping, Shakespeare, wrestling, and even a little scatology (yes, I learned that word from the play — “the study of feces,” apparently!).

Kate is a budding artist, and one of my favourite elements was watching her drawings projected through Laura Cadart’s animation design. We see her imagination unfold in real time. Her brainstorms, daydreams, and “what if” scenarios materialise onto the backdrop while music and cheeky sound effects (“woomp woomp”) punctuate the action. The script respects children’s intelligence. It treats big emotions as real and valid, but always with warmth and wit.

Sascha Holt as Kate takes on an enormous responsibility. She never leaves the stage and has what feels like (approx) one million lines! Narration, dialogue, audience interaction, rapid-fire brainstorming — she handles it all with admirable stamina. When she leans into expression and timing, her acting instincts really shine. I was highly impressed by her focus and commitment throughout the whole thing.

The script allows the other performers to play multiple characters like granny, mum, Italian teacher, annoying big sister, Billy, and more...

• Lyra McCrossin stood out to me as the most articulate performer, with crisp delivery and clarity that made every joke land well.

• Lilica Howard embraced the exaggerated comedy, especially as the granny and big sister. Big character choices, which I loved.

• Leo Teh as Billy was the most naturally expressive, and you could see every emotional beat land clearly.

A gentle note (said with so much love): there are some absolute zingers in this script. So slow down your words, my babies! We want to savour those punchlines. They’re gold.

What I adored most was the concept of a word fight > physical fight Instead of a physical showdown, Kate arms herself with vocabulary. Knowledge becomes her power. Insults are replaced with articulate retorts. The bully’s feelings are hurt not by fists, but by language. And when Kate is praised for her excellent use of vocabulary? As a teacher myself, I was thinking “yas queen!” from my seat.

“People who swear can’t think of anything else to say.” That line alone deserves to be on a classroom poster. The play not-so-subtly introduces the idea that swearing activates a more primitive part of the brain, something playwright Nicky Peelgrane explores with real curiosity and humour. The show doesn’t shame children for finding taboo language fascinating. It simply asks: what if we had better tools?

There were audible adult gasps and giggles throughout. The sarcasm and dry wit land even harder because they’re delivered by children. There's something just deliciously funny about a tiny human delivering sharp commentary. There are also sweet moments of audience interaction, where Kate asks open-ended questions and the crowd may shout back suggestions. It creates a sense of shared problem-solving and empowerment. Even the slightly chaotic prop throwing from the wings made me cackle (you all absolutely need to practise your throwing and catching ha!)

Theatre that is put together and performed by young people carries a particular magic. We’re not just watching a story. We’re watching their growth, bravery, and skill-building in real time. Learning lines. Taking direction. Collaborating. Showing up. And in this case, exploring how to stand up to bullying without becoming the bully yourself.

Bleep Quest is funny, warm, smart, and surprisingly educational. It proves that language is powerful. That creativity is powerful. That knowledge is powerful. And that sometimes the most satisfying victory isn’t a body slam... It’s a well-delivered sentence.

I bleeping loved it!